


A Sadist's Game of Hide-and-Seek

by Maki_Soro



Category: Gintama
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Cuddling, F/M, Fluff, I don't know tagging, I still can't write I'm sorry, Married Couple, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-13 04:45:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19594168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maki_Soro/pseuds/Maki_Soro
Summary: Kagura's irritation with her husband leads to an unintentional (and slightly violent) game of hide-and-seek.





	A Sadist's Game of Hide-and-Seek

To say Kagura was cross was an understatement.

She was _infuriated._ Specifically at a certain idiot sadist that she called her husband. They haven’t even been married for a full year, and already he was pissing her off this much. She wasn’t mad enough to divorce him by any means, but right now, she just didn’t want to see his stupid face when he came home from his shift. 

In her expert opinion, she wasn't exaggerating either. He was a dick, and while she was aware of that a while before they married, it was the first time she actually couldn't handle seeing him. 

So she planned accordingly of course. 

Sougo would come home to a clean, empty house with dinner on the table, but no one to enjoy it with, while Kagura would stay the night at the Yorozuya with Gin (uninvited, of course). She could care less if her husband felt lonely and she opted not to leave a note or any kind of message of her whereabouts. Let him worry. _Serves him right._

Perhaps she was being a _tad_ bit petty. Not like she cared however. That idiot took things too far the other day when he went out of his way to mildly flirt with other women, _specifically_ to piss his wife off and get a reaction out of her. He wanted a reaction? Fine, he’ll _get_ a damn reaction. _Stupid waste of a human who isn’t at all handsome or entertaining and she definitely isn’t head over heels for him, seriously, what the hell do you take her for?_

Kagura knew he wasn’t being disloyal or anything, but it still irked her nonetheless. Yes he was already married, and yes they’ve known each other for six years now, but the thought of Sougo saying such nice things to unknown women while all she got were insults, forehead flicks, and constant teasing, just made her heart feel… weird.

Admittedly she was jealous and hurt about the whole thing, but there was no way she would let _him_ know that. If he asked, she was pissed off because he was behaving like an idiot and nothing else.

Kagura was just about ready to leave her house. Sougo’s dinner was waiting for him on the table, covered in wrap so he could warm it up himself when he came home. The house was clean, the laundry was sorted and the doors were locked. He would be here any minute now. All that was left to do was to take Sadaharu and lea-

CRACK!

_Oh please no._

Kagura flinched and looked up at the sky. To her horror, dark gray clouds shrouded the atmosphere as the summer winds quickly began to pick up. A few raindrops landed on Sadaharu’s nose, before it ultimately began pouring. Lightning flashed and the accompanying thunder threatened any individuals who desired to leave their house.

Kagura liked to think her husband secretly prayed some sadist-exclusive curses in his sleep to bring misfortune upon his wife, just so she wouldn’t ever be able to get her way, or in this case, get her revenge. Realistically though, she knew she was just unlucky.

Dammit! There was no way she would be able to walk in this weather, even with her durable umbrella, so she might as well give up on her plan to ditch her husband. If only she left a bit earlier, she could have made it to the Yorozuya household before the typhoon hit. Sougo would be home any second now and Kagura dreaded seeing his ugly mug. 

_Now what?_

Sighing in defeat, Kagura took her massive dog back into the house and rubbed his nose. “I’m sorry Sadaharu. Looks like we won’t be seeing Gin-chan today.” 

All she wanted to do was get away from her husband for _one_ night, but the world never seemed to be on the same page as her, and it showed. 

_Maybe it is actually a sadist curse._

Kagura stood at the entrance of her home, the shoji doors slightly ajar, as she tried coming up with some kind of plan B, or at least just a way to avoid seeing her husband. She really didn’t think she could handle his stupid smirking or insufferable remarks, and she wasn’t sure knocking him out for the night was actually legal (after all, he _was_ a police officer). It’s also not like she could just kick him out. If anything, _he_ could kick _her_ out, as he bought the house they lived in and paid all their bills. Truth be told, that was the only reason she even bothered taking on the housewife position.

Her unsuccessful planning was eventually put to an end as she heard the familiar sound of approaching heavy boots walking briskly along the paved path leading to their house, making a sloshing noise as they stepped into puddles. 

_Crap!_

Panicked, the Yato woman quickly ducked herself into a nearby closet and slid the door shut. She wasn’t even sure what she was thinking during that moment. Honestly this seemed like a half-baked idea that probably wouldn't work. Hiding in a closet of all things? Was this really her best option?

_Hm._

Kagura thought about her situation. Perhaps she _could_ just hide in here for the rest of the day. After years of sleeping in a closet back when she was living with the Yorozuya, it wasn't like she would feel cramped or anything. This one was a bit more spacious than her old one, so she should be able to manage just fine. She was hidden this way and she wouldn’t have to face her husband. He would just think she was spending the night somewhere else, right? 

Kagura tensed up as she heard the shoji doors slide open and shut. “I’m home!” Sougo’s expressionless voice called out as he took his boots off. Moments passed. “Oi China, where are you?” She heard him walk through the house as he looked for his wife. 

Kagura let out a breathe she wasn’t aware she was holding when she heard his footsteps pass the closet she was hiding in, then quickly covered her mouth to block any more noise from coming out of her that would give away her hiding spot. 

“China! Say something!”

She heard the footsteps stop in what seemed like the kitchen. It was silent for a couple of seconds, and then there was a loud _slam!._ Kagura flinched at the noise and assumed it was his hand striking the table surface. Was he angry?

“Chiiinnaaaa,” Sougo drawled out loud. “What’s with this single wrapped up dinner? If you thought I was just going to eat by myself then you’re wrong! Come out already!”

Did it not occur to him that maybe his wife just _wasn’t_ home? It didn’t take much of a genius to figure something like that out, if she wasn’t answering his calls, if his dinner was wrapped and set out for him, **and if she wasn’t there** . 

“I know you’re home you idiot! Your umbrella and shoes are at the door, and your massive dog is sleeping _right here_!”

_Oh._

Stupid! Stupid! She probably should’ve done something about that before she escaped into the closet, but she knew she was too frantic during that moment to actually give it a second thought. It was very rare for her to go somewhere without Sadaharu, and it’s not like he would suspect she just left without her dog, shoes and umbrella if she went out, _especially_ in a typhoon. Kagura cursed under her breathe at her utter stupidity, but made no move to reveal herself. 

A few seconds passed. “Oh fine, you wanna play hide-and-seek China?” She heard him unsheathe his sword as he sauntered through the house.

“I’ll play hide-and-seek.” He finished in a low voice, making Kagura shiver.

“Chinaaa, come out, come out, wherever you are.” He hummed, as he looked inside a room and knocked down any furniture that she could be hiding behind with his sword.

Kagura hurriedly covered herself in some of the several blankets they stored in the closet, trying her best to make as little noise as possible. She prayed the blankets would be enough to conceal her, but she knew it probably wasn’t. Something like this wouldn’t fool a police officer, _especially_ one like her husband.

“Why are you hiding from your dear husband? Come out and play with me _sweetheart.”_ A large vase came crashing down and she could hear the pieces scatter across the floor. Looks like she’d have to clean that up later.

“Are you mad about something?” Another swing of his sword and a large shelf hit the floor. 

“Was it because I was being so nice to those girls the other day?” Kagura could practically sense the damn smirk on his face. “Are you jealous of them honey?”

_Well of course darling._

Kagura hugged her knees and winced as Sougo kicked down more furniture, sending them colliding with the floor. Honestly, she knew she should just reveal herself already so she didn’t have an even bigger mess to clean. Unfortunately, she was stubborn and her increasing irritation with her husband wasn’t really going to help her confront him. 

“What's someone like you hiding for anyway? I _know_ you’re stronger than that!” 

Kagura dreaded Sougo sliding open the closet door and finding her. She knew it would happen any moment now, so her best option was to simply embrace the inevitable death. 

Or think up an excuse once he _does_ find her. But how would one even explain hiding from their spouse in a closet? 

As if on cue, the closet door slid open and a sword poked through. She covered her mouth to hold in a gasp as she eyed the sword that knocked down some of the blankets, searching for anything that had waist-length vermilion hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and some kind of Chinese-styled attire. 

To her surprise, it withdrew before it reached her, and she felt the world may have been on her side for once.

Kagura resisted the urge to let out a breathe. What luck! How the hell did he not find her after he basically tore through the entire house looking for her? Did the curse wear off? Or did he think she couldn’t possibly be in a closet so he went to look somewhere else in the house?

Speaking of the house, it was awfully… quiet? Was he giving up? She pressed her ear against the closet door to listen carefully. On the other side, she heard him sigh, before he began to… put his shoes on? What? She then heard the front door sliding open and then shut.

_Eh?_

Did he leave? Had he given up on her? Or did he finally believe she just wasn’t home? 

Kagura waited a few minutes for any kind of sound, but there was nothing. 

_Maybe he did leave?_

She contemplated this option and whether or not she should leave her hiding spot to confirm, before deciding to face her fears and… step back into her own house. 

Honestly, she found it stupid how she had become a prisoner in her own home today. _Seriously, a Yato like her?_

Kagura quietly moved from her position to take a quick peek outside the closet. She took in the sight of the disastrous mess she would have to clean, as well as the huge dog in the corner that, to her amusement, was somehow still asleep, despite the huge commotion Sougo had caused. She looked around but couldn’t find her husband anywhere. Kagura stepped out of the closet a bit, but still couldn’t find him. She also noticed how his shoes were not at the doorstep.

With some courage, she finally exited the closet and walked to the entrance, looking around the house for any signs of him. She slid open the front door and peered outside. It was still raining like hell, as expected, but she couldn’t see him anywhere outside either. Where would he have gone in this weather? To look for her? What an idiot. Why couldn’t he just stay at home, accept his wife probably wasn’t here, and eat the stupid dinner she made for him?

That is… if he _did_ actually leave… 

_Did he?_

Kagura nearly screamed when a pair of muscular arms encircled her waist and her back was suddenly pressed against a solid chest. 

“Fouuund youuuu.” That iconic blank voice droned into her ear, and Kagura could basically _hear_ the smirk forming. 

Kagura turned her head and was met face to face with a smug smile and a pair of merciless red eyes. “What the…?! How did-” 

“I was sitting _there_ you moron.” Sougo gestured to a large fallen cabinet.

Kagura glanced at the indicated furniture. It was situated between the closet and the entrance, so she couldn’t have seen him concealing himself in front of it. She cursed to herself and struggled in his tight grasp.

“I figured you would come out of hiding if you thought I was gone, so I pretended to leave the house just to get your stupid ass out here.” Kagura looked down and saw he was wearing his boots.

“Urgh!” Kagura continued to struggle. “Let go you punk chihuahua! You know I can quite easily break your ribs, yes?”

“Yes I am aware. But I think there are more important issues at hand.” He pinned her body onto the floor and straddled her. Kagura looked away so she didn’t have to see his stupid face.

“Look at me China.”

“No.”

“I said look at me.”

“No!”

“Look at me dammit!”

“Hmph!”

Sougo sighed. He used a free hand to gently turn her head so that she was facing him.

“Care to explain to me why you were hiding?”

“I wasn’t hiding.”

“Then why were you not answering me when I called you, why was there a single wrapped up dinner on the table, and what were you doing in the closet?”

“I was very busy… cleaning.”

He raised a brow. “Cleaning?”

“Yes. I was so busy that… I would take too long to join you at dinner and… I was too focused to hear you.”

 _Yes as if I have ever been that concentrated on_ cleaning. 

A pair of scrutinizing eyes told her he didn’t buy her lie (obviously). “Cut the crap and tell me already. You’re clearly not able to escape _anything_ right now, so don’t try to miserably lie your way through.”

Kagura avoided eye contact with him and looked anywhere but his face. What she would do to just be swallowed up by the floor right about now.

He must have been getting irritated because he raised his voice. “KAGURA!”

“Ugh!” She was fed up and just wanted to kick her husband off the planet. “I was pissed off at you, okay? I just didn’t want to see your ugly mug, okay? That’s it! Now leave me alone!”

“Why were you pissed?” He demanded.

She remained silent. 

“China?”

“You know why, idiot.”

“Enlighten me.”

Kagura scowled, her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “Like you said earlier. I was mad about the other day, when you were… flirting.”

Sougo was quiet and simply stared blankly at her for what felt like hours. Finally, he broke the awkward tension with a snort. 

Kagura’s brow twitched in irritation. “What?” Without warning, he flicked her forehead, causing her to let out a grunt.

_Asshole._

“Did it really upset you _that_ much, that you wouldn’t be able to stand seeing me, and you would try to hide from your own husband? Did you take it _that_ seriously?”

She paused for a second. What the hell was he saying? Of course it upset her! Having her husband flirt with other women, then question why she was upset about it. Did this idiot really just expect her to take it as a light tease or something? 

“Yes you jerk!” Kagura bit. 

He looked at her, his eyes widened in surprise at the sharpness of her tone. “Kagura…”

Another silence fell between them, the only sounds being the intense rain outside. Kagura looked away to calm herself down, and she waited for him to do something to relieve themselves of the awkward stillness already, _dammit._

After what felt like an eternity, Sougo tipped her head up slightly, then lowered his face to cover her lips with his own. 

Kagura was taken aback by the sudden act, but kissed him back nonetheless. He cupped her face and softly brushed her cheek with his thumb. She let out a sigh and ran a hand through his sandy brown hair. 

Even if she was angry at her husband, she couldn't resist his affectionate side. Honestly, she _was_ head over heels for him, and it angered her to no extent. If he ever found out about this, she would be tormented for the rest of her life.

When Sougo broke away from the kiss, Kagura got a quick look at his downcast, half-lidded eyes, before he rested his head in the crook of her neck.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would feel so hurt about it.” He took a breath. “I promise I won’t do it again, just…” Pausing, he looked for the right words to say.

Kagura was stunned. Was he anxious? _This_ sadistic bastard? Did he actually not know what to say?

“Please, don’t ever try to hide from me or leave me alone.” He finished. 

It was a pathetic excuse of an apology, sure enough, but Kagura knew it was difficult for someone like him to actually express his emotions. Not to mention, she knew he did really mean it. His apologetic expression and nervousness told her that he really must have been feeling lonely without her. Was he feeling upset without her there? Her cheeks warmed at the realization that her presence meant that much to Sougo.

She placed a hand in his messy hair and wrapped an arm around his back, taking in his scent and feeling his body warmth. “Sadist…” She whispered into his ear. “Couldn’t you have picked a better place to cuddle? The floor isn’t all that comfortable.”

“Mmmm… it’s fine.” He placed a kiss on the soft skin between her neck and shoulder, before burying his face into her hair. 

“Hey…” Kagura threaded her hand through his messy hair. “Can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Did you mean all those nice things? To those other girls I mean.”

Sougo lifted his head to look at her, his arms propping him up from either side. “If I meant any of those things,” He smiled. “I wouldn’t have married you in the first place.”

“Idiot.” A smile formed on her own face. “You’re gonna make me barf with those cheesy lines.”

“Your sukonbu odor makes me wanna barf.”

“Go to hell.”

He snorted, then pressed his lips to hers once more. “I’d take you with me.”

“Do you have anything else to say before I kick you off of me?”

“Yes.” He gave her a sly grin. “Just so we’re clear, _I'm_ the master of hide-and-seek.”

She rolled her eyes before giving him a swift kick to the chest, causing him to fall backwards and land on his butt. Kagura flashed her husband a grin before escaping into the kitchen to devour the single untouched dinner left on the table.

**Author's Note:**

> I really didn't know how to end it off so hopefully it's not too corny  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, so thank you for the support!


End file.
